how did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
he gave her a ring
i just spit my muffin out from laughter
What do the bus drivers on field trips do while kids are on the field trip
Loch Ness monster spotted in Russia
Looks uglier than imagined.
How sad would it be to actually interview and not get accepted.
when my family went to disney world we went on the haunted mansion ride and this actor dressed as a skeleton came up to our cart and got right in my three year old brothers face and whispered “are you scared?” and my brother kissed him on the nose and the guy laughed so hard he had to leave
omfg so I came back from camp today and I guess this fell out of my bag while I was unpacking
aND MY DAD STARTS SCREAMING ABOUT THIS CONDOM HE FOUND IN MY ROOM AND I GOT SO SCARED OMFG AND I WAS LIKE WAIT LEMME SEE THAT AND I TURNED IT OVER
AND IT’S MY FUCKING TEA
MY DAD THOUGHT MY CINNAMON APPLE TEA WAS A CONDOM
"Hey! Why you are so quiet?"
"Because you’re all idiots" is not apparently an acceptable answer. (via)
When I was 17 my appendix ruptured because I thought I was just having period cramps and didn’t go to the hospital so don’t tell me PMS symptoms are no big deal
wrong number. via
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